Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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