he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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