on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We have started to decorate penises.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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