Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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