before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize