Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
