wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
