Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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