yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
