That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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