we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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