therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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