I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
