im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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