just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you would pick up someone in the library
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
