he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
