There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
