I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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