Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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