Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
