i would punch a child for taco bell
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
