yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
