Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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