Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Randomize
