Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
should my penis look like a turkey
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You need a sexual gate keeper
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
