did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
