I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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