Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize