what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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