you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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