we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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