I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Do vagina's smell?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
