How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
