He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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