i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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