tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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