Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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