he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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