My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
