Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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