it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Dear god my vagina.
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