Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize