Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
