I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
