It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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