3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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