Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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