I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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