We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
