i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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