they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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