You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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