how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
