he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize