There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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