He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
