fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
