Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
