Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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