I wannas sexs uuuuu
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
