she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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