my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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