hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
