This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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