where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize