last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Dicks are not precious.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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