I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
