I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
