best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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