She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
