Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
