yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
