Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
