How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
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MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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