Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
